April 17, 2008

What Now???

"Why do I love" You, Sir?
Because—The Wind does not require the GrassTo answer—
Wherefore when He passShe cannot keep Her place.
Because He knows—andDo not You—And We know not—
Enough for UsThe Wisdom it be so—
The Lightning—never asked an EyeWherefore it shut—
when He was by—Because He knows it cannot speak—
And reasons not contained——Of Talk—T
here be—preferred by Daintier Folk—The Sunrise—
Sire—compelleth Me—Because He's Sunrise—and I see—
Therefore—Then—I love Thee—
Emily Dickinson

March 17, 2008

Soul Ripped Apart...

I feel like my soul has been ripped apart... I feel dead inside... I can hardly move.. breathe nor say a word... i'm weeping inside... i dont know wht the hell i'm gonna do.... i'm feeling shitty and so alone...
I know i'm gonna have to see more shitty things to come... and i wonder hw on earth i'm gonna put up with tt...
It has finally striked me tt u have drifted away from me 4 good...
i'm never gonna c u again..
I didnt even say gudbye...
I have wasted my life and time waiting.... hoping... wishing tt' u'll acknowledge i exist.. but looks like u don seem to give a damn...
My whole life i have waited for you to say you cared and loved... but u DONT GIVE a SHIT
My love 4 u has been a wasted
I wish i cld turn back time..............

December 19, 2007

Inspired by Erin Brockovich

Hey people.... sorrie 4 not blogging for some time but i do read the rest of you ppl's entry..

Have not been blogging for some time cause i was caught up by many things.... all miserable things la.. that i dont even feel like talking about it...

I wanted to talk about attire today... All of us have a different style when it comes to dressing.. because as similar in characteristic we are ,there are bound to be some differences, In my case i wear what i like.. Yess.....As long as i have one arse instead of two i wear whatever i want!!!!

I hate this hypocrite world where people talk smack about others all the time ..yess even best buddies... men think their guy friends don't gossip... but unfortunately they are wrong... even straight men talk smack about their own friends... As much as we think that we shouldn't take what people say seriously... we cant help being bothered by certain remark...but we know our self the best...we don't know how others think... so just brush those remarks aside and keep going...they are not the ones who are going to be there when you go for a job interview,or pay for your car loan...

The horrible truth is in todays world NO one can be trusted..... trust yourself and no one... u can even trust the devil but not a devil in disguise..... Some people say dont take things too personally but THIs is my life... my heart.. and my integrity..if that is not personal , I don't know what it is... There is another way to look at things...... Buat muker tembok... Yess.... in other words should have a thick skin lor!!!!


September 21, 2007

The end......

Never Thought I would say this...
The never ending drama in my life is officially OVER today...
You guys can be rest assured that it has finally come to an end..
I would probably miss it... but everything happens for a reason...
An ending... is towards a NEW beggining!!!!

September 3, 2007

I Screwed Up BIG TIME

I did something that I promised myself to never do...

I don't think i can forgive myself

I feel like a fool... the fool est person on earth

I feel damn shitty

I feel like a Moron

I'm not going 2 forgive myself


I called a person who told me not to call coz someone was not happy we are friends

and yet i did cause i was actually genuinely worried bout the person...

The person answered.... and said " I TOLD U NOT 2 CALL AIGHT.... TUT TUT TUT TUT TUT TUT TUT.... phone got slammed hard !!!!!!!

I'm not proud of myself...

Yet it hurts...

I feel like someone has ripped my heart...

I fucked up BIG TIME!!!!!!!

I wish i could take back that moment

I wont forgive myself!!!!!!!!!!!

August 17, 2007

FCuk em all !!!

Have you experienced a moment where you wished everything around you stopped and freezes and you are the only who who feels alive, cause when everything else is alive and moving you feel dead and trapped?? Or more likely going tro death in a slow process... that's how i felt for a few months... I've been bumming at home with no Internet connection... my phone lines were dead, and the only thing i had with me was my 29 inches TV and my mom's harlequin romance novel that turns you into a hypocrite... cause you wann all that romance, yet you know its fantasy but you claim to be a realist?? WTF!!!

Anyways... i was going through a moment of REDs... these are not like BLues.. where you have a bad hair day, an acne , your car breaks down.. REds are worse than that, they suffocate you, other people's jealousy and manipulation feed on you, you realise that your own family is against you, your best friend feels better about her breakup cause your bf dumped you in a more awful manner, your ex shows up any says he thinks he loves you after 3 freaking yrs only to find out his current gf hates him, you are often asked why you are single? why you don have a friendster??? My personal life is private... i don wanna parade my pics and let the world known wats my fav food, clothes and crappp..... i have enough headaches with ppl in my life!! Do i need another 50000 unknown friends???

The crappie part is wen u realise that every single ppl in your life have invaded your space (there is this line you dont cross)that even when you are taking ur shower some moron will knock and screw ur moment of solitary.... everybody talks smack bout everything and nobody actually cares what you think and how you actually feel.....

Ur family- They think you are weird when you tell them ur dreams, they take you for granted(you are only wanted when: washing dishes,laundry,cleaning) You work like a dog to get someones attention but ur parent pays more attention to the one who has the most attention, every thing you say or do is left to deaf ears...... You try, and try, yet you are ignored, you still suck in their eyes, You try to keep
away, they bug you even when you sleep, (when you cry ur self 2 sleep thats when they switch on the lights and talk loudly)
And just sometimes you wish they could just love you the way you are, you donwann their money,just love and affection
but they cant seem to give even that.. sometimes even when you to do the right thing you end up falling on your face.
Dysfunctional family is common, but not when you feel trapped and slowly your souls is taken away!!!

BFF- Who ever who came up with that term didn't know what the hell he or she was talking about!!! There is o nly two type of friend, one is
the one you trust and the one you don't. I can count with my fingers when it comes to ppl i trust, believe me non of my family
members are in it!!! The one you trust is the ones who also opens up to you, not someone who only listens and never tells you
anything, it means she or he doesn't think you are trust able , they are shrouded with secrecy and feel you are not important enough, (I'm talkin bout basic stuffs like family, horrible ex , not explicit details) They claim they love you, but yet they indulge on the fact you are as unhappy as they are, you got dumped in a worse manner,you have put on tons of weight so its ok if they do too,they have a bf and you are dead single,( at least their time is pre-occupied while you read MIlls and BOOns and croon when you see Clive Owen or Keanu Reeves!!!
To think about it you don need poison to kill yourself, ppl like this take the life out of you...

Your Ex- Another specimen to screw up your life.
The day you walk out of our life don come back..
Because you had a choice, your choice was to walk out..
You never loved before, what makes you think you do now??
You shattered hearts before, what makes you think you wont wreck it again?
The word X says it all... i donwanna buddy buddy wif you... i don believe in that, in the long run someone is gonna get hurt
again... the only consolation your ex can give is, GET OUT of your life 4ever, cease to exist,NO phone calls,NO sms, maybe
a pathethic email once in a while... but bottom of line is Just GET OUT!!!

TMnet- I dono wat to say about this ppl..... streamyx suckzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz 2 der core

I'm showing my middle finger!!!

June 29, 2007

Telekom Corrupted.. Streamyx suckzz... Tunggakan???

I dono bout the rest of you guys.. but many housing areas in Cheras suffered from corrupted telekom service yesterday... which was so freaking annoying... it lasted for about more than 5 hours and no one can contact each other through the house phones.. the most irritating part was some houses had weird voice mails saying that network was busy ??? wtf??? tried calling Telekom using my mobile.. and some weird computerised voice stated that that number is not in service?????? Hello.......... what is the Ministry of Communication doing..???

Streamyx what can I say... always have freakin problem with it... to come to think of it.. it's just like using Dial up... where der connection is freakin slow.. so slow that when I sat in front of the computer I was 22 and when I switched it off I was like reaching 84....

But they never fail to send us a bil statement wif the word tunggakan catching your eyes... Even if you have already payed.. the freaking bil alwayssssss states the same bloody thinggy... connection oredi awful but sending bil statement always on time wif extra payment.. There were times where they disconnected my streamyx line cause apparently we didn't pay?? WTF??

When I call those annoying hotlines(Customer Service) those people put you through hell before you can talk to them... you pick up the receiver with a good mood... hear a whole bunch of computerised crappie thinggy

" All our Customer Service are busy at the moment.. please wait awhile.." yada yada.. music... a long awful music.. and at last when someone finally picks up.. ur good mood turns ugly and all you wanna do is vent your anger on them... Especially when they say " You have not paid your outstanding bill... bla bla..." Then when you point it to them that you have paid and have the bil statement with you, they go like...." OOh... sorry maam... we have not updated our system yet.. we will reconnect your streamyx line.. please pay extra RM 10 !!!!"

Yeah like WTF???

I'm wondering... who should we blame?? The post office?? Streamyx?? Customer Service???

But one thing is for sure bloody capital INCOMPETENT....

The question is are you ABLE or not???

HIdup Bodohland....